the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize