I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
