i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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