I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My vagina is very pro this idea
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
