Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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