She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
