you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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