TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I will be naked everywhere
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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