so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
