He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
