I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
