glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize