we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
