I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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