It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
