The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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