The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
