Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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