Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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