I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just had sex on a roof
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
