She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
