I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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