I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i just made my gag reflex go away.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
