just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
