You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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