the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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