weddingsv make me drug and hornr
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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