I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
