You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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