She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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