I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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