Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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