I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
