All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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