I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
