Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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