she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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