I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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