I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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