Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize