Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
