Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
its not stalking. its research.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
