Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
