it was like his penis was on wheels.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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