it hurts more in the daytime
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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