chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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