would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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