"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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