I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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