There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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