In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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