doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
