so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
