He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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