there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
