Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize