ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
