I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
