we made out on top of his cat.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
