Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
